Currently Listening Engage By PAX217 What Is Love see related

its the little things in life that make it so much better than just a big roller coaster.

so like 2 months ago i was at louies house and he has fast internet and i was bored and i wrote a message to Cadbury (makers of Sour Patch Kids and Swedish Fish) and told them i was their greatest fan and i have a i love sourpatchkids shirt and my myspace is ilovesourpatchs kids and i told them they should send me a box of sour patch kids. i knew they wouldnt give me any...

so today i see a letter in my mailbox. and its from Cadbury. i read it and they said thank you for my support and love and they gave me 2 little coupons for 2 free packs of Sour Patch Kids.

yay!

tired like a 18 wheeler.

well. that was fun.

life has its ups and downs.

the past few months have been up. now its down. o well thats life.

last night was one of those little happy moments in a sad story.

it all started around 3:30 when i took a nice warm shower and put on my show clothes and got ready to go to a relient k concert.

i drove to church while "the black parade" by my chemical romance was on the radio. resulting in my arrival being 2 minutes earlier than it should have been...

i hung around with megan poe and philip hines and emily adinolfi while we waited for jesse to show up. then he showed up and we all got in jacobs van and started to the drive to dc.

we stopped at wawa and got some refreshments and i got a half gallon of chocolate milk (which i usually get on the way to a show).

we got to the 930 club an hour and a half early and i had to pee. so we sat in line and waited for a while and then michael tavani and callen and thereasa slovich came and butted in line with us. and then JT (from abbott and west) and his sister lindsay and her friend casey (who tim simon knows) came and butted in line with us. and then aliese and tiara and brian gurney and michelle and will and danny slovich and and like 10 other people who i kinda know showed up and butted in line with us too. 

the first 2 bands kinda sucked.

BUT IT WAS SO CROWDED. since relient k is a very popular band a lot of girls came. a lot.

and a lot of idiot girls came.

i was the first one to crowd surf (and second one...) and then i was trying to get back to where i was before and i tried to get past this group of like five 14 year-old girls. the were like "hey buddy we are short and we cant see if you move up so go away cause we have mace!" they were demons.

this crowd didnt know how to freakin mosh. it was so crowded people just started pushing the whole crowd back and forth instead of making a pit. it was so crowded we tried to get a pit going like 5 times but every time we did all these girls got so freakin mad!!! some girls started pinching my arms and scratching me with their nails!

but that didnt stop me. we finally got a pit going for the second band and that was fun.

on our way home we were all hungry but when we got to gainesville everything was closed so we decided to go back to dennys in manassas.

then we got back to the church at like 240 and i crashed at tims and then we had bible study at 7...

i had a messed up ankle on my left leg and a big blister on my right foot before the show. and now they just hurt like heck.

im pooped like a toilet.

i love punk shows. and rock shows. but punk shows are better.

Currently Listening When Your Heart Stops Beating By +44 No, It Isn't see related

xanga is stupid.

i hate it how when i write a nice long blog about what im thinking about or something i get few comments.

i look at ben's blog and all he says is that life sucks.

i wrote a blog with 3 words.

and got more than twice as many comments as my blog that was 100 times longer.

i confess. when i wrote "i hate life" i didnt really mean it. i just wrote that to see if i really would get more comments, and i did. 

xanga is stupid.

poor pour. floor flour.

i hate life.

Currently Listening The Bends By Radiohead see related

selfish much?

how important is this post to humanity?

how important is this post to glorifying god?

how important are bens posts about meaninglessness?

how important are mrs. murphys posts about love and friendship and trusting?

how important are rebeccas posts about school?

how important are my posts about nothing?

hmm.

dont get me wrong, im not trying to criticize anyone.

the bible talks about how its good to not talk much.

we have the phone.

we have IM.

myspace.

xanga.

facebook.

text messaging.

and then all the times we see each other.

i think we all talk to much.

i mean sure its good to "vent" and all and tell each other about our problems, but is it really good? im not saying we shouldnt share our problems to each other but do you think maybe we are telling and sharing and venting with each other instead of god?

its easy to post a blog about how life sucks, rocks, is ok, could be better, etc. wouldnt it just be better to vent on god instead?

its easy to forget we have a relationship with god when we have such good relationships here.

DOES ANY OF THIS REALLY MATTER?

im not feeling like im not special and un loved. and if i was i wouldnt want you to say anything encouraging.

but does any of this matter?

i mean this world has been around for a long time. i doubt itll be around too much longer, but eternity is gonna be long... real long.

so have you ever thought of the MILLIONS of "normal" people in this world that didnt matter a bit? people just like us who maybe go to church, maybe not. maybe believe in god, maybe not. but they didnt change anything. we dont remember them because they never did anything.

sure there are those missionaries who we never hear about that give their lives and die.

but there have been billions of people that just didnt change the world like they should have because they never did anything.

jesus did stuff.

jesus changed the world.

we should be like him.

we need to do stuff.

we need to change the world.

i am no example. dont look at who i am. dont look at my heart. dont look at the blackness. look at the light behind it. look at who i wish i was.

look at jesus.